Tropical Storm Hanna is gaining steam and headed for the U.S.  The Weather Service said that if this hurricane becomes too much to endure, they'll give it the last name "Montana". 

While hosting the U.S. Olympic champions, Oprah told her audience to look under their seats.  And when they did, they found a missing Shawn Johnson. 

AT HIS AGE DO YOU THINK HE'S TALKING ABOUT HIS DIAPER, GUESS IT DEPENDS. 

...john mc cain picked up a crucial endorsement when the Log Cabin Republicans endorsed his presidential bid....not to be outdone, Barack Obama announced he has secured the endorsement of the Mrs. Butterworth Democrats. 

...a new social networking website is now available for alcoholics....www.shitfacebook.com 

Letterman, Leno, Conan React to Sarah Palin

The boy band New Kids on the Block,  has reunited after 14 years and plans to release a new album and go on tour.  

This is kind of  like when you were a kid and got chicken pox. Then the virus remains dormant for years .  Then many years later out of the blue the viurs returns as a nasty case of shingles.

Sarah Palin in her address to the Republican Convention last night described herself as an average "hockey mom."  So why then didn't she do a better job educating  her daughter on "keeping players out of the crease." 

ABC’s Good Morning America on Tuesday aggressively pushed the story about how Sarah Palin’s teenaged daughter is pregnant….ABC’s David Wright suggested the McCain camp was trying to bury the “skeleton in the closet” by putting the news out as the hurricane hit…

A pregnancy is not a skeleton in the closet. It's a bun in the oven. If it were a Democratic candidate’s daughter, then it would be a skeleton in the closet, since that’s what would be left after the abortion. 

A death row inmate sentenced to die in October claims he's too fat to be executed. Richard Cooey says he's so fat that Ohio executioners would have trouble finding his veins and that his weight could diminish the effectiveness of one of the lethal injection drugs. A federal judge agreed and instead ordered his "fat ass" immediately shot by a firing squad. 
 www.jerrywolski.com

Barack Obama told reporters yesterday in York, Pa. that he isn't bothered by attacks made on him by Sarah Palin.  "I've been called worse on the basketball court,"  Obama said.  This is true.  In fact, one time he was called a Knick. 

In last night's speech, John McCain promised to bring change to Washington.   Well, I watched last night --he can start with the offensive line. 

Cubs pitcher Carlos Zambrano could go on the DL.  Team doctors said if his arm were any weaker, he'd be Rex Grossman.

A teleconference between the media and Central Florida football coach George O'Leary was canceled Monday because school officials accidentally gave the number for a phone sex line instead of the teleconference number. Members of the media initially became suspicious since the answer to every one of their questions was "Yes, yes, YES!!!"